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1 Getting What You Want

“Nothing ever great was achieved without enthusiasm.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When all is said and done, only one thing really matters in this world. Some call it the “secret of life.” Some call it “the secret of success.” Some call it the “gift of prophecy” or “visionary thinking.” I don’t think it’s a secret at all. In fact, I don’t think it’s all that difficult to discover what really matters—that “one thing” that answers all the questions you have ever asked about the meaning of life, the definition of success, or the essence of true leadership. The one thing we all seek in this world is happiness.

Are you happy? I mean really happy? Do you have what you want in your life or are you settling for whatever comes your way? Are you handling what you’ve received in life—the good, bad, and ugly—with grace or despair? Is the world a better place because you get out of bed every morning?

If being happy matters to you (and it should), then it’s time for you to delete those attitudes and behaviors holding you back and release the Zing! (exclamation point required) from within. Zing! is a good thing. Zing! is a means to a happier end, the path to a successful life. It’s what will get you to where you are going, but it’s not the destination—it’s the journey.

Defining Success

Definitions of “having it all,” “happiness,” or “success,” when written by anyone other than the person living that particular life, are unproductive and impersonal. I once tried to reach for those other defined standards as a full-time mother of two infants, full-time wife, full-time housekeeper, full- time professional, full-time community member, and full-time daughter. But all I became was a full- time nutcase. I wasn’t making a difference; I was making a living. No. You have to define for yourself where you want to go; Zing! will help get you there.

Successful Wanting

What do you want? Are you looking for the corner office, a promotion, or the opportunity to present your own reports at staff meetings? Would you find happiness in going from a B student to an A student? Do you want to be followed into the restroom by no less than six colleagues, become the president of a large corporation, or start your own business? Maybe you want to change the world one child at a time. Whether or not you realize it, you want something. Consider if your actions are trying to tell you it’s time to put your needs first. The last time you were in a bookstore, was there a reason your feet kept taking you directly to the books on saving your marriage, 101 ways to be a better parent, or how to get a date?

Many people know what they want; they just don’t feel worthy of happiness. Believe that you deserve more. Know that you are on this planet for a reason. Your life has purpose—even if you haven’t figured out what that is yet. Go for what you want. Follow your heart. Write your own story. Your destiny is the paper; Zing! is the pen.

Thought by thought, you control your destiny by making choices about how you spend your time and where you exert your influence. From seconds to minutes, from minutes to hours, and from hours to days, your attitude, behaviors, and purpose combine to create you at any moment—happy or sad. Your choices impact—and change—other people. You create the energy that attracts or repulses others to or from your causes, efforts, and personality. This energy is your personal magnetism, ability to influence, or charisma. It’s the it you wish you had when you needed it, the silent and not-so-silent force that accompanies you into a room with noticeable confidence.

The Definition of Charisma

Charisma is Zing!. It applies not only to your leadership, but also to your life. Charisma is often hard to describe because it is so personal in nature, and until recently, considered too subjective to measure. Leadership through a less self-serving model of charisma is a growing phenomenon.

The Relational Nature of Charisma

Harvard University anthropologist Charles Lindholm, as quoted in Charisma by Dr. Tony Alessandra, states: “charisma can be revealed only in interaction with others.” It’s a function of how others view you, not how you view yourself. Charismatic leaders need followers. Therefore, your charismatic potential (or Zing!) is determined by the reverence (or lack of) others have for you based upon your interactions with them.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound? If you crack yourself up laughing while alone in your room, are you really all that funny? Likewise, if you consider yourself to be a charismatic leader, or hold a position of leadership that includes your name on the door but (and it’s a big “but”) no one follows you, are you all that influential? No.

Charisma involves connecting to others on a variety of levels, including intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and physical. It is a multi-dimensional construct requiring another force (or forces) to be present so that a stronger influence can be exerted against that particular force. Charisma is a valuable skill and a powerful means of influencing others, achieving personal happiness, and making the world a better place. However, for this to be the case, a more clearly articulated purpose—or utilization—needs to be added to the definition, such as “positively influencing others towards a greater social good.”

This book offers another perspective to a phenomenon that has intrigued humans for centuries and continually changes in meaning. In fact, organizational behaviorist Rakesh Khurana suggests that since its adaptation from Christian theology, charisma has evolved to mean a “set of personal qualities that inspire awe and submission in others.” After considerable study, he concludes: “…charisma remains as difficult to define as art or love. Few who advocate it are able to convey what they mean by the term.”1 I believe the term will continue to evolve as the world’s needs for charismatic leadership evolves.

The Origin of Charisma

The word charisma is derived from the Greek translation “gift of favor or tongue.” Charms is the root—a Greek word meaning “favor.” The suffix ma (meaning “gift of”) was added later. The first use of the term traces back to Christianity. The apostle Paul uses charms in the New Testament when speaking of church leaders and other disciples who possess the “gifts of the Holy Spirit.” As noted by Khurana: “according to Paul, those gifted with charisma included ‘good leaders’. . . [and] church members with extraordinary endowments, such as the power to speak in tongues or work miracles.”2 This connotation is commonly assumed when someone asks, “Who would you identify as a charismatic leader?” I often hear the names of great orators like Elizabeth Dole, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and Winston Churchill, for example. I also hear the names of great corporate icons, like Jack Welch of General Electric, Carly Fiorina of Hewlett-Packard, David Stern of the National Basketball Association, and Oprah Winfrey of Harpo Productions. These are the “superstars.” They influence others to do great things.

The CEO Corporate Superstars

One of the first leaders to fit the “CEO Superstar” definition of charisma was Lee Iaccoca, former chairman of the Chrysler Corporation. Unlike many of his modern counterparts, he moved up through the ranks of the same company he eventually headed. Today, many “charismatic superstars” are transplanted from other organizations, never having paid their dues in the dynasty they now control.

Although a shift is taking place, a degree of celebrity is still associated with and expected from a majority of today’s high-powered, high-profile corporate leaders. It’s not uncommon to see their faces on the cover of Newsweek, The Wall Street Journal, and People. Earning million-dollar salaries, flying in corporate jets, and moving from one empire to another, these types of superstars serve to shape, salvage, and often reinvent their respective corporation’s image almost single-handedly (at least that’s what they’d like their stockholders to believe).

The Changing Meaning of Charisma

The nature and meaning of charisma has changed over time for a variety of reasons. First and foremost, the negative backlash of corporate scandals involving flashy CEO corporate superstars makes it necessary to question in this day and age whether it’s good or bad to be a “charismatic leader.” Secondly, most Americans are discovering that despite corporate leaders’ high levels of competency, we cannot realistically assume that one person can make or break an entire corporation. This assumption ignores the significant role of domestic and global forces—especially terrorist attacks, stock market drops, and war. Rudolph Guiliani, for example, wasn’t viewed as a charismatic leader until after September 11, 2001. Previously, he had to overcome bad publicity from a very public divorce and was known for his “tough” style of leadership, especially regarding crime and law enforcement.

A Personal Challenge

This book was written to encourage you to go beyond a narrow application of charisma and inspire you to consider the role of influence or enhanced “charizma” in your every day life and leadership. Look around at the people with whom you interact on a daily basis. There you will find examples of great people doing great things: teachers, neighbors, community volunteers, coaches, teenagers, and storeowners living their lives and leadership with Zing!.

The Personality of Influence

What does it take to be more influential and charismatic? Researchers Jay A. Conger, Rabindra N. Kanungo, and Sanjay T. Menon have added new understanding to what I call “the personality of influence.” Their work builds upon existing behavioral dimensions of charismatic leadership to encourage more empirical studies. In addition, they have successfully identified specific “follower effects” of charismatic leaders to include follower’s reverence, sense of group identity, and perceived group task performance with charismatic leadership.3 Now you can assess if you have the same traits as those individuals considered by others to be effective leaders.

Measuring Charisma

One such measurement tool developed by Conger and Kanungo is a 20-item, psychometrically sound measure of assessing charismatic leadership called the “Conger-Kanungo Charismatic Leadership Scale.”4 The scale features five significant variables of charismatic leadership, including: strategic vision and articulation, personal risk, sensitivity to the environment, sensitivity to member’s needs, and unconventional behavior. These variables were consistent with many other sources identifying leadership traits by followers (which will be discussed in later chapters).

I have developed the “Personality of Influence Inventory” as a measure of your ability to influence or Zing!. This is your first assessment opportunity (or pre-test). To measure your improvement, I have also included this inventory as your last opportunity for self-assessment (or post-test). The Inventory lists sixty traits—or “small things”—that contribute to your ability to Zing!. Take a moment right now to go to Appendix A: Chapter Self-Assessments and evaluate your current level of Zing!.

Putting All the Pieces Together

The more consistently you make each of the traits listed in the Inventory part of your personality, the greater your potential to be more influential and charismatic, and the greater chance for others to notice you as such. Understanding how all of these traits come together, combined with external forces, will allow you to use what you’ve got when you need it! The Zing! Impact Equation (introduced in the next chapter) illustrates the complexity of maximiZing your influence.

“You make a living by what you get. You make a life by what you give.”
—Winston Churchill